


It

by fhsa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Drabble, Episode Related
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-01-23
Updated: 2004-01-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 17:27:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12798972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Chloe overhears.





	It

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

They were at it again. 

 

It was a crisp October day in Smallville, the frost was on the pumpkin, everyone was serving cider instead of lemonade and there's a scent of spice in whatever pie Martha's baking. It was probably apple. Chloe had come over to the barn to see Clark and ask him for help with the Halloween special edition of the Torch for the second time this week. She was still downstairs, about to go up to the loft when she heard Clark talking, but couldn't quite tell what he was saying. Up one step and then she heard whoever was up there with him. Ah, it was Lex. He must have come over for some male bonding for the second time this week, Chloe thought with a laugh. She stopped on the bottom step to listen for a few minutes before going the rest of the way up and disturbing them.

 

"My first one was very elaborate. Well, you know how Luthors are, Clark. It had everything," said Lex.

 

"I want my first one to be really special. It doesn't need to be elaborate, just special. But it will be special anyway if you are there."

 

"Clark, I still think you should do it at my place. I have the best facilities for it there."

 

"Oh how cute!" Chloe thought. They are talking about first times. Lex's should be pretty interesting! But facilities? 

 

"God, Lex that makes it sound like a business meeting or something!"

 

Now Lex was laughing. "Clark, it was a hell of a lot more fun than a business meeting. It was actually pretty wild. There were all kinds of strange noises and music ... even a custom mix of moans and screams."

 

Chloe wondered if he was at a rave or something. "What a yucky way to have your first time," she thought. 

 

"And it was huge! All my friends came."

 

"It was? It is?" thought Chloe. Was he talking about himself or ... No, Victoria, and that Desiree woman, his ex-bride, she of the poison pheromones. God, Lex was a confusing individual. And ewwww! His friends were there? And they? What, they watched or they? Oh god. Were there drugs involved?

 

"What, were they all in costumes and stuff?" Clark asked.

 

"Oh hell yes! And there was this one guy who kept running in and out of rooms wearing a sheet and moaning. I was never sure who it was."

 

Yep, it was definitely some kind of wild party and definitely drugs were involved. Lex was known to run with a very fast crowd in Metropolis. But ick! Chloe hoped Clark wasn't planning on a Luthorstyle first time. How incredibly unromantic!

 

"But I really want to do it here, Lex. It's a big deal and I want to feel comfortable about it, you know?" 

 

Chloe very quietly sighed with relief. But would it really be that comfortable in a hammock? And with Clark's parent just across the way in the house?

 

"But, rooms, Clark, rooms! Staff! Lighting! Music!"

 

"See, Lex agrees that it's better in a bed," Chloe thought. Without the crowd and drugs and wild partying, the Luthor way to do it could be rather ... nice. Chloe began to feel a little warm and tingly.

 

"I don't care about lots of rooms. There's plenty of room here in the barn. And staff? Isn't it more fun to do it all yourself?" 

 

"Some of it, maybe. But ..."

 

"Look, we can set up cool lighting and music beforehand. I have some tapes with sound effects, like moaning and stuff on them that we can use and I've got a boom box with a cassette player. If we put it in the right place, we'll be able to hear it all over the barn. And I have candles up here sometimes. Moonlight is the best, thought. I'll check the Almanac, and if it's a night with a full moon, that would be perfect." 

 

"I think you've just about covered the technicalities of it. But what about atmosphere? The castle may not be my favorite place to live, but it has just the right atmosphere for it."

 

"But Lex, I've always wanted to do it here, especially the first time. I know it probably sounds pretty dorky of me, but I've had it all planned out since I was a kid. And I want to be able to tell my own kids about the first time, in the barn. Besides, I know it will be scary, but I don't want it to be too scary. "

 

"You really have been thinking about it for a while," Lex said, softly.

 

Leaning back against the steps, still mesmerized by the conversation going on upstairs, Chloe thought "Oh, it's even cuter, Clark went to Lex for advice on his first time. Maybe he'll even mention a name." There was a long, long pause, then finally, Clark said, "Ah, come on, Lex, just say it!"

 

"All right, Clark. You know how much you mean to me. I love you and I want it to be a very special night for you. If you want to do it in the barn, we'll do it in the barn."

 

"Thank you, Lex."

 

Oh. Oh. My. God. Clark didn't go to Lex for advice, he went to Lex to do it for the first time! It was one thing to think that maybe they liked each other that way, but to imagine them actually doing it? Suddenly Lex's long looks and Clark's shy smiles took on a new meaning. 

 

Chloe knew she should leave. This was far too intimate a conversation for her to listen into. But she just couldn't do it. She was rooted to the ground. And they were still talking about it!

 

"It's going to be all dark in here. We won't be able to see anything."

 

"Oh, candles, remember, moonlight if we're lucky and maybe some lanterns or something for that atmosphere you want. We have to be careful about the hay, though. 

 

"Yeah, sure. The moonlight will look great up here. But moonlight won't reach back in the back of the barn."

 

"We could use some glow in the dark decorations."

 

"Ugh, no. That would be cheesy."

 

"Well, we're going to be using blindfolds for part of it anyway, so it really doesn't matter that much what the lighting is like."

 

"We are?"

 

"Well, yeah, sure. You know, for the feeling stuff part."

 

"The feeling stuff part?" Lex sounded as puzzled as Chloe felt.

 

"You know, where you put your hands all in stuff, like this. We have to have spaghetti ... a huge bowl of cooked spaghetti."

 

"If you want pasta, Clark, then pasta you shall have."

 

Images from Lady and the Tramp danced in Chloe's head. So Clark wanted to be blindfolded for the dinner portion of the evening, huh? Well, to each his own, thought Chloe. If Lex were going to blindfold me, I don't think I'd want him to follow it up by feeding me spaghetti. Chloe got even warmer and tinglier.

 

"Oh, and grapes," Clark continued.

 

"Grapes? I suppose you want me to peel them for you." 

 

"You bet I want you to peel them for me. I want to lie on the couch and watch you peel them for me."

 

Okay, that was kind of fun. Chloe tried to imagine Lex feeding a naked Clark hand-peeled grapes and had to suppress a giggle. 

 

"Hey, I found the directions online for making some gloopy homemade slime stuff."

 

"Homemade slime? Um, okay, Clark, what is it made with?"

 

"I think it was glue, water and some borax stuff. I checked and my mom has some in the utility room."

 

"I don't think so, Clark. In addition to it sounding completely disgusting and probably too thick to suit our purposes, glue and borax are not going to be in the same room with me, much less anywhere near my sensitive skin. Why don't you just let me take care of that?"

 

"Oh. Okay. I want candy."

 

"Now?"

 

"No, not now. Well, actually, yeah, now too, but I think we should have candy for after, you know?"

 

"Candy?" 

 

"Well, yeah!"

 

"All right. I already said yes to pasta and grapes so why not? We can have that for when all the fun and games are through."

 

What the heck? Clark was just being silly now. It was one thing to expect your date to provide dinner before getting into "it," but candy? Chloe reminded herself? sometimes forgot that boys mature so much more slowly than girls do.

 

"It isn't going to be kid stuff," Lex continued, "but there can be candy involved. "Hey little boy, want a sucker?" Lex asked with an unmistakable leer in his voice.

 

"I'll show you what you can do with that sucker," Clark chuckled.

 

Lex laughed, then his voice again became serious. "I think we've got a plan we can start putting into action."

 

"I want to talk to my mom and dad about it, first." 

 

"You mean you haven't already discussed this with your parents?"

 

"No, I ... I wanted to wait until we were sure we were going to do it."

 

"You need to do that soon, like tonight at dinner. I don't want to put this off. It's too important to us both."

 

Chloe decided she'd heard enough and that she had to leave now. It wasn't right to eavesdrop on a conversation this intimate. She would just have to come back a third time to talk to her friend. 

 

***

 

Two days later, Chloe decided it would be a good day to try to talk to Clark again. She debated whether she should stick with her original mission of asking Clark for help with the Halloween issue, or try to discuss his relationship with Lex. She really didn't want to bring it up to Clark; it was just too embarrassing. She just hoped that he knew what he was doing. After all, Lex was rich and smart and connected and everything they all weren't. Lex wasn't in another league, he was another league. On the other hand Chloe knew she had to say something to Clark at some point. There was a tension between them that was just wrong. Clark was definitely keeping something from her lately and she suspected it was the impending "first time." 

 

Chloe was a very observant young woman. She knew she would still be considered a cub reporter, at best, but she took pride in her ability to pick up on the little nuances that other people missed. She'd seen the long lingering looks, and the goofy grins, the occasional touches for no reason. She'd reached the point that she didn't doubt that Clark was gay at all anymore. It was very obvious from his immunity to Desiree's womanly wiles, not to mention how incredibly relieved he seemed when Chloe had let him off the hook herself. And then there was the fact that the newly-available Lana Lang was still available. 

 

She thought that the conversation in the barn confirmed her suspicions, but she did still have some doubts about whether Clark and Lex were just doing it for the heck of it, or if there was something really serious between them. She was certain, at least, that she had heard Lex say "I love you" and "You know how much you mean to me." If it weren't for that she would have been much more worried about Clark. Even though their attempts at dating never seemed to work out, they had remained very close friends and she cared about him deeply. The thought that he might be preparing to have sex for the first time with Lex Luthor, and that he had expressed some concern about it being "scary," were enough to cause Chloe some lingering concern.

 

So next day she went to the Kent farm after work. Again heard voices in the loft. Well, this time she was going to stick around, or interrupt them, or, or something. Instead of conversation, all she could hear were grunting noises. Finally, Lex spoke.

 

"It's so big!"

 

"I thought you wanted a big one!"

 

"Yeah but Clark, that's just huge! and it's really hard, Clark."

 

Yeah, well, it's supposed to be nice and firm. If you wait too long and it gets kinda soft it won't last as long and it smells.

 

"That's disgusting."

 

"Sorry. Didn't mean to gross you out. How about this?"

 

"Yeah, that's great."

 

Then there were some rustling noises and a thud and then Clark said "There, that's perfect, Lex!" followed by a splatting noise.

 

"Ewwww ... what is that stuff? It's gross!" said Lex.

 

"Oh, honestly, Lex, and you're the experienced 22 year old."

 

"Oh My God," thought Chloe. "They were doing it! They were actually doing it here in the barn!"

 

The grunting noises continued.

 

"Okay ... let's take it downstairs."

 

"Oh no! Now they were going to come down here and do it!" Chloe thought.

 

Then suddenly Clark was hurrying down the stairs, carrying an enormous Jack-O-Lantern. Lex was right behind him carrying a plastic bag full of pumpkin innards. Chloe tried to leave, but they saw her before she could sneak out of the barn.

 

"Oh God, this is awkward," thought Chloe, as she looked down at the floor. "Um, hi Clark."

 

"Chloe, hi!"

 

"Hello, Chloe."

 

"What brings you over here?" asked Clark.

 

"I, um, I just wanted to ask you ... if maybe sometime you could help me with the Halloween edition of the Torch."

 

"Sure, Chloe. I'd be glad to help you when we get everything squared away here."

 

Chloe still couldn't look at either of the men. She looked everywhere else instead. There was a "ghost" sheet with a head made of something soft like hay or socks strung up to a wire that ran across the barn's ceiling. Then she spotted table with bowls nestled in ice on a tray on it, among them, big bowl of peeled grapes! She knew she looked hysterical, but she didn't care. She grabbed handfuls of the grapes and threw them at both men. "These are peeled grapes!"

 

"Yes, we realize those are peeled grapes, Chloe," Lex said "What exactly did you expect they would be?"

 

Chloe was momentarily speechless, then finally said, "It's not what I thought the grapes were. It's what I thought 'it' was.

 

Clark raised one eyebrow and cocked his head to the side in a puzzled look. "What is 'it' Chloe?

 

Chloe, finally recovering her composure and laughing, "That's what ... that's what I was going to ask you. I overheard you two, the other day. Talking about well, stuff. I now realize that 'it' is your Halloween party, Clark. But, before," Chloe's voice trailed off.

 

"What did you think 'it' was?" asked Lex.

 

Oh God, Lex was going to make her spell it out. "Well, you know. 'It.'"

 

"Oh, I see," said Lex with a little smile. He moved just a bit closer to Clark. 

 

Chloe was sure, now, she thought, but, no, she was still not sure. She glanced over at Clark to discover that he still didn't get it. His puzzled look remained firmly in place.

 

"You did hear us talking about a Halloween party, yes," Lex said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence that risen between them.

 

"So, it's not, um, 'it?' You're not, um, you know?" asked Chloe.

 

"I didn't say that," Lex replied. "But we're not doing 'it' in the barn."

 

Chloe felt the heat creep into her skin and knew she'd just turned some shade of pink . She glanced over at Clark and if she felt like she was on fire, he must have incinerated, because he was flushed hot red from roots to, well, as far as she could see down his shirt.

 

"Good work with the investigation, Chloe," Lex said with a wink. You'll make a great reporter someday. That is, if you know how to be discrete."

 

Chloe smiled, and watched as the flush left Clark's cheeks and he very visibly relaxed.

 

"Don't worry, guys. I promise I'll keep your secret." And with that she picked up a bit spiderwebby decorating stuff. "So, where do you want this?"

 

End.


End file.
